I couldn’t stop eating treats! My parents said that when I was young if I had 25 cents in my pocket (equivalent to 1.5 RMB), I would walk the nearly twenty minutes to the candy store and spend it, as quickly as I could. Money never stayed in my pocket. I couldn’t save for something better, because I was too busy spending on what I “had to have” there and now.  Were any of you like me?

The ability to delay gratification; to be able to say “YES” to what is best for us and say “NO” to what is bad for us, is called “Impulse Control” in EI language.   How are you doing at controlling your impulses?

• Can you save money?
• Can you say “no” to others who are pressuring you to behave in a way that isn’t beneficial?
• Can you hold your temper and remain calm in the midst of stressful situations?
• Can you resist a temptation to act?

Those who can do what is best, even in the face of peer pressure, thinking beyond present circumstances, are strong in impulse control.

In the 1960s there was a now famous study called, “The Marshmallow Test.” Young children were given one marshmallow and told they could have it AND another if they waited until the person giving the test returned some minutes later. If they couldn’t wait, they could have the one marshmallow, NOW.  But, if they ate one now, they couldn’t have the second later.  

Twelve to fourteen years later, when these same children were about to graduate from high school the researcher located the children again. Interestingly, he found that those who resisted the impulse to eat the one marshmallow, and waited for the second, were more successful, had better social skills, exhibited greater ability to deal with stress and, in general, were ahead of their peers. Having impulse control matters for those who want to succeed.

For an exercise on impulse control, please consider the following.